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That awkward moment when you go to LFMF and realize you've already been here today. #LFMF

Never, and I mean NEVER assume that two people who don't get along, regardless of whether they live under the same roof, talk to each other about plans while one is out. It will end badly and you will feel like an idiot. #LFMF

You are either "getting to bed" or "off to bed". You are not "getting off to bed". #LFMF

Remember crafters: Rivolis are round crystal flatbacks with conical tops, raviolis are pasta pillows filled with meat or cheese. Know the diiference before you go to the jewelry supply store. The employee there will try hard not to laugh when you ask for "Chef Boyardee rivolis". #LFCustomerInTheStoreIWorkedAtF

Make sure you know the address before egging and tp'ing an enemy's house. The next day you will see an elderly couple watching people they hired to take down toilet paper and eggs. #LFMF

I ate at Taco Bell #LFMF

When you just bought a house (in a hidden country-like area of your highly urban city) and are having fun chasing lizards, one will accidentally drop into the little pond by your pool. You will try to rescue it, but not before you see a 1.5 inch diameter spider 2 inches from your hand. You will be lucky that you did not fall in the pond of fright. True Story. #LFMF

Eating a floating eye in netHack gives you telepathy. Eating a bloodshot eye gives you hallucinations. This is potentially fatal, especially with basilisks hanging around. Your statue will serve as a reminder to anyone who comes later. #LFMF

Never drink too much before going out to the clubs! You'll end up sleeping at the front door with your friends, because you're too drunk to move further. #LFMFriend'sF

I think my mom might have the same hairstyle as Paully D. #LFMyMom'sF