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When making microwavable kraft dinner, water is a must. So is staying in the same room to monitor it. Otherwise, you look up to see the next room filled with grey smoke, the worst stench you’ve ever smelled, a pile of black goo in the microwave, and a microwave that no longer works. A lot can happen in 3 minutes. LFMF.

Submitted by: Tilas via Submit Page

When your wife is canceling her gym membership becayse she never has a chance to attend, don’t console her by saying, "It’s okay honey, you know I’ve always been a chubby chaser!"

Submitted by: Bubbapop via Submit Page

No matter how late it is, do NOT confuse astringent for eye makeup remover. #LFMF

Submitted by: Thankfully not blind via Submit Page

If your futon bed makes a breaking sound and bends in the middle slightly on one end during a rather energetic love making session, do NOT assume it will be ok and continue with what you’re doing unless you like having a concussion, a broken arm, and a black eye. #LFMF

Submitted by: Kinda worth it though via Submit Page

While most offices are okay with you abbreviating customer as "cust" in the notes, make sure you don’t hit "n" instead of "s". #LFMF

Submitted by: Ana via Submit Page

Note to self when lighting farts: butt hole hairs are flammable.

Submitted by: Reynardine via Submit Page

Despite your theories on reducing body acne, pumices stones should not be used to exfoliate anything that is not your feet. #LFMF

Submitted by: Owies Onmyarms via Submit Page

Don’t let your husband suggest having some margaritas at the Mexican place while you are ovulating. #LFMF

Submitted by: Amy via Submit Page

Clipping overhead branches with your baby in the (baby) backpack is never a good idea.

Submitted by: John via Submit Page

Don’t leave full two liter soda bottles in your car during a snow storm. They will freeze and then explode all over your trunk.

Submitted by: heather via Submit Page