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If at a friend's house, respect their rules on TV & language, especially if they have kids. Kids copy what they see and hear. #LFMFriendsF

If you're feeling particularly ill, and you really have to use the bathroom, make sure you flush it occassionally during the 45 or so minutes you're stuck in there. You'll try to flush, the toilet will be clogged, and cleaning the mess will not be fun. Especially if you're at your girlfriend's house. #LFMF

There is no such thing as "Just one peek at the internet." Looking at websites does not build the one you need to do for homework. #LFMF

If you have exams in 2 days, don't read old chats you had with your ex-gf. It will ruin your motivation.
#LFMF

When standing behind a young man who has two hearing aids, do not sigh and start ranting to your friend about how people's ear accessories are getting more and more "offensive," and how making fun of deaf people by pretending to wear hearing aids is a sign of a terrible human being. Despite the man's severe hearing difficulties, he will hear you, and he will be rather pissed off if you try to remove his hearing aids. #LFHerF

When trying to impress your punk-rock-loving friends, please remember that the band, The Degenerics, have no link whatsoever to Ellen DeGeneres. #LFMF

Be careful of which tea towel you use to wipe your face with. Using the one you just used to mop up spilled soup is completely and utterly ineffective. #LFMF

Do NOT watch Bones while eating pulled pork! EVER! LFMF

Your flashlight runs on 2 D cell batteries, not double D batteries. #LFMF

When your first grade son tells you he wants a hair cut, listen to him. If you don't, he will give himself one on a Sunday evening and it will be a reverse mohawk. Then you'll have to call a relative who owns clippers and see if she can help trim it all down to the same length. If you're lucky, he'll do it AFTER the big family Mother's Day get-together. #LFMF