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If an elderly dog dies, tell your small children that he died. Don’t tell them, as my Mum told my brother and I, "He was very sick and Jesus took him to Heaven to look after him"; those children might have a bit of a dig in the garden, then tell you that Jesus left most of him behind… #LFMF
Submitted by: handle’s Mum via Submit Page
Despite the cliche, dogs really do eat homework. And no, your teacher won’t believe you. #LFMF
Submitted by: Not Lying via Submit Page
If you have dogs, keep you bathroom trash lid very secure. They can smell food, fear, and that time of the month. #LFMF
Submitted by: Bloody Mess via Submit Page
Labradors are instinctively bird dogs. Do not introduce your brand new $200 cockateil to your 2 year old labrador, expecting them to become best friends. #LFMF
Submitted by: litesneeze via Submit Page
When considering a new roommate, try to figure out what sort of contribution his dog named "Poopers" will make to the household. #LFMF
Submitted by: LAFCynthia via Submit Page
If your six year old son asks his dad why the puppy has to go to the doctor, just know that the answer "To get his nuts chopped off" WILL be repeated to his teacher. #LFMF
Submitted by: TheExWife via Submit Page
Before spending $35 on a stool sample at the vets office because you saw "worms" in fido’s poop… find out if your husband happened to feed him ramen noodles that moring. #LFMF
Submitted by: Chezlee via Submit Page
When walking down a crowded hall at your kids’ Catholic elementary school, never accidentally drop a syringe from your coat pocket – no one’s gonna believe you have a diabetic dog and you forgot to throw away the syringe after you gave her her shot this morning. #LFMF
Submitted by: Maria via Submit Page
After spring cleaning a yard inhabited by 4 large dogs, be sure the elephant-sized bag of soggy half-frozen droppings is securely tied before heaving it over your head onto a truck for disposal. #LFMF
Submitted by: Converting2Cats via Submit Page
Never assume it’s safe to leave your hyper dog in a running vehicle. He can (and will) manage to knock it into reverse, hitting the steering wheel, and back it in a full 180 degree bend into the neighboring building. Try explaining that one to the police and insurance company. #LFMF.
Submitted by: GT via Submit Page
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