Never wait until the last minute to write that three page essay. And if you do for the love of god don't leave Minecraft running in the background. 12 hours until it's due will turn into "Okay I should get started… Oh never mind I've got to leave in five minutes"
Be sure to calculate the amount of hot chocolate left in your cup before you take the last sip. You may pour it all over your face. In front of everyone.
No matter how much you want to get achievements, do not play Fruit Ninja for Kinect for six hours straight. You will not be able lift your arms above your head without pain for the next three days.
If you have a boy with autism and you take him to a birthday party, don't teach him to hit the other kids with the balloons so he can play with them. Just don't. He'll end up hitting the birthday boy's elderly grandmother in the face, and he'll think it's funny.
Never sneak up on your little sister when she's making cookies. She will scream and throw an egg at you. You're wearing a new shirt. No one will be happy. #LFMyBrother'sF
Your friends may think it's funny to joke about boobs being the only good thing about women. Your girlfriend on the other hand, will not. And yes, she will ignore you for the rest of the night. #LFMF
When a baby is learning the parts of the body, never ask her where your neck is. She will grab and squeeze, and she has sharp little fingernails.
When talking about the new show on TV that you like, remember it's Alcatraz, not Azkaban. LFMF
If you have facial hair and decide to eat toasted, warm marshmallows be sure to look in a mirror before you leave the house. Yes you have it in your beard. Yes it looks like some blew a load in your beard. Yes you will get odd looks at the mall later on. #LFMF
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