Never reject a date from that really sweet geeky-looking guy. The following week he will cut his hair, get contacts and become the cutest guy you know. He will also never pay attention to you ever again. And you'll deserve every bit of it. #LFMF
« Previous How Do I Zoom In? | Not the Time, or the Place Next »
I See the Butterfly Has Emerged from the Cocoon as a Ryan Gosling
» See all 79 comments
Leave a Reply
-
Constructive Criticism
Lizzy on Colon Clogged Lizzy on Fap-Hazard Lizzy on Fap-Hazard Chris on College Drinking Chris on Go Cry About Your Books, … Cis on Du Bist ein Idiot! darwin6 on Brown Eye kawaieijiro on Tunnel Pirates darwin6 on Brown Eye Zero on Du Bist ein Idiot!
Without wanting to be a bitch or anything, you totally deserve this if you only date people based on their looks and end up rejecting sweet guys just because they’re a bit “geeky-looking.” If he was good-looking afterwards, he was good-looking beforehand, so do try to see beyond how fashionable someone is. Assuming you’re a woman, you’re just perpetuating this fallacious idea a lot of men have that we’re all shallow bitches and that “nice-guys” never get a look-in. Thanks for that.
Agreed. I know all women aren’t shallow, but stuff like this really makes it hard to believe.
To be fair it is a good way to weed out shallow people for guys.
And not just for guys, incidentally. Plenty of men have failed to get past my bastard detector for precisely this reason.
Bastard detector =D
You made my night.
A date isn’t a promise of marriage. Unless they really make you nervous (in which case, trust your gut), go on the date. You might be surprised.
You might want to go on dates with sweet guys anyway, because they are probably the ones worth sticking too…
No no, she must friendzone all the sweet guys by definition. That way she has somebody to call for moral support the next time the guy she ACTUALLY dates treats her like garbage and/or smacks her around a bit.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is not a stereotype or generalization. This comes from personal experience. Very sad but also very true.
“Not a generalization”. You [are] using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
When you take your anecdotal evidence/singular experience and try to apply it to a faceless entity of “girls” (not acknowledging that there are lots of girls out there and many are vastly different from others), you’re generalizing.
You have no idea what the OP does or does not do, beyond what she has stated in her post. That’s not to say the OP doesn’t deserve her fate for being a superficial moron, just to say that you can’t – and shouldn’t – apply your singular experience to what she, or any other woman, may do.
Obviously not getting the sarcasm-nonsarcasm dichotomy of my post.
And sadly, my experience is not “singular” as you assume with much high-mindedness. Just as you stated that you have no idea what the OP does or does not do, you have no idea of what I’ve experienced or not experienced.
So thank you for that.
cause you’ve dated every woman everywhere, especially OP. (“by definition”?? wth? definition of being a woman?)
I have absolutely no idea what you’re saying.
You know how statistics can’t be considered accurate if the sample size is less than several thousand people? Yeah. That’s what they’re saying. Even if every single woman you’ve come across (and saying maybe you’ve come across hundreds) that you’ve gotten to know are like this, that STILL doesn’t mean that women are like that as even a majority. So yeah, you’re generalizing.
What I notice is that you have crap taste in girls. Now, if you chose girls based on personality and not on looks, maybe you could find one of the (many) girls who isn’t an idiot. Hypocrite much?
Wow… just wow. You’ve got a real pair calling me a hypocrite without knowing hardly anything about me. You assume I only date or try to date women who are attractive. This is incorrect.
I don’t have crap taste in women, I’ve just had chronic bad luck in that I’ve picked women who would rather be with an abusive boyfriend than with me. And a woman having a nice personality or good looks has zilch to do with whether or not they choose to be with a creep.
Get a clue, jackass.
I like how absolutely nobody agrees with you. And you’re still generalizing. The “wahh I’m a nice guy and girls are all shallow and have bad taste because the ones I know date other people” crowd is more annoying than the shallow girl one, and I’m saying that as a homosexual female who has to deal with the second group and not the first.
And you can see I’m losing tons of sleep that people aren’t piling on the bandwagon in support of me. I don’t need the validation of others to live my life. Does my attitude annoy you? Too bad, deal with it.
Anubis. My boyfriend is a sweet guy. He’s about the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. He’s the one I picked out of 9 guys who wanted to date me (no, I’m not being conceited: I was on a dating website and you get a lot of dates that way!), because he was the sweetest. We’ve been together 2 years and we’re planning to get married next year. I’m afraid this suggests that there is something else you’re doing wrong. Being “sexy” and being “sweet” are by no means mutually exclusive.
It cannot be overstated enough how much you deserve the regret and shame you’re feeling. It’s about time some of you start learning your lessons.
He was a skater boy, she said “See you later, boy”.
He wasn’t good enough for her.
Now he’s a superstar
Slammin’ on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he’s worth?
Go burn in a fire, thou shall not spread Avril Lavigne’s lyrics.
This.
You so need a fiery kick in the nads for that.
what the hell, I’ll do it.
Shallow girl is shallow.
what is this a rom-com? you can’t cut hair and take glasses off to suddenly become attractive
it’s like taking a hot actress and giving her a ponytail, glasses, and overalls. she still looks hot
Not true. Guys look like completely different people with long v. short hair.
(actually so do girls… notice how unpopular the pixie cut is)
Pixie cuts are freaking awesome, if you have a face that works with them.
right?? I think pixies are really hot!
HELLS YES! check out ‘once upon a time’ and Ginnifer Goodwin character, ‘snow white’ when she gets her pixie cut. i’d go gay for her! [and she's NOT hard on the eyes otherwise.............. 8D]
Nerdiness is a matter of style, not actual looks. Lots of nerds are good-looking underneath it all, and lots of girls judge people by how they dress/style their hair/etc.
Guys of equivalent shallowness are simpler creatures. Tits are sufficient. It helps if she has all her teeth, but it’s not an absolute requirement.
yes, but my point is they’re still going to be attractive, you can tell
if glasses and a haircut were the only barrier, then you could tell beforehand
And my point is: NO, you can’t (at least sometimes)
When I first started dating my boyfriend, he had very long hair, making his face look longer and obliterating his bone structure. He was kind of girly and not very good looking. When he finally cut his hair short, he looked like an entirely different man.
(but I encouraged him to keep the glasses. the glasses are adorbs)
(fun fact: at the time we started dating, I was sporting a pixie cut. We have since swapped hair lengths)
Yeah, but the point is, YOU dated him anyway.
He can’t have been THAT unattractive!
Yes, yes you can. When I first met my husband in college, he had a scraggly beard and a semi collapsed white-guy fro. When he cleaned up, I could not stop staring at his amazing hotness. We were already together at that point in time, but still, bonus
I think that’s the modern equivalent of the princess who kisses a frog and it turns into a beautiful prince. I’m not calling your husband a frog, though. Congrats on your non-shallowness!
no, you can’t
you can become *more* attractive, as is the case with your husband
but he was very obviously already attractive, because you know, you were already with him
hint: people don’t date people they aren’t attracted to
You could offer to put out. That may change his mind.
You guys do realise that this was most likely written by said “geeky guy”, who isnt actually that much more attractive (if he bothered to change at all) and wanted to come to the internet for validation.
you just shattered my daydreams of sweet, sweet justice.
Thank you. That’s what I came here to say.
this
Haha, yeah this.
You did him a huge favor, since you evidently would have been horrible to him.
And when I take off my glasses, I go from dorky looking to the hottest woman ever.
exactly, thank you
rom-coms aren’t real life
OK, I usually don’t like to comment on relationship related posts seeing as I’ve never even hung out with a guy outside of school (I’m 13, don’t judge), but seriously? You turned him down because was a little geeky? That’s extremely shallow of you. Besides, he couldn’t have been that bad if a haircut and some contacts made him “the hottest guy you know”.
I agree. I normally feel that most people in the comments are just being jerks when they rag on a poster for something stupid, but I agree with them. She deserves to be forever alone if she’s telling guys no cause they’re ‘a little geeky’. Personally, I find geeky and nerdy to be hot. Sweet, shy nerdy guys are the best. They’re smart, they’ll love you more than just about any other kind of boy, and the chances of them just dropping you when something cuter walks by are very slim. You, Ms.Poster just lost who will most likely have been the best thing to ever happen to you. Have fun with that hot jack@$$ who will prolly hit you and hit on other women in front of you :/
I agree, both about geeky guys being adorable and the fact that the OP will probably end up with a jerk if her main criteria for dating is hotness.
OK, I was going to comment why 13 year old girls are posting to #LFMF but this kind of restores my faith in the future.
Thanks, usually people call me obscene names and/or tell me to leave, and that my opinion doesn’t matter when I say that I’m 13.
It’s awesome how mature you’ve been. Thank you.
Haha, you’re welcome.
I was going to say something like that, but you said it a lot more eloquently than I would have. Thank you. Onyx, please stick around, you seem like a great kid!
Same here! I love seeing smart young people. After all the stupid people who think Canada is a state, and that twilight is better than Harry Potter(and that HP ripped off twilight) this is a nice and refreshing change
Come on Onyx, Join us and be an awesome member of society! 
Thank you, I’ll do what I can to contribute.
PS. Harry Potter is awesome.
When I was out clubbing after a finished exam, I got angry when all the girls turned me down, well I took off my glasses and guess what, few hours later I was making out with a beautiful girl. And I was quite drunk at the time so I was neither anxious nor afraid.
“A few hours later” maybe everyone was a little more drunk and less inhibited. Haven’t you ever notice that people tend not to start getting together at 6pm?
Sometimes a change of style/hair really can make a big difference to someone’s appearance though. Many years ago I dated a guy with jaw length hair and a cute little beard and glasses – it really suited him and I thought he was hot.
Then one day, for reasons best known to himself he decided to cut his hair quite short and shave off his beard. I didn’t drop him over it (even though it looked atrocious) because by then I really liked him. BUT – if that was how he’d looked when he asked me out… I’m not sure I would have said yes.
I don’t consider myself a massively shallow person either – but I do like to feel physically attracted to the person I’m dating! It is kind of an important aspect of a relationship – or you might as well just keep them as a friend.
I agree that you shouldn’t judge a person solely on looks. And I gathered that the OP already knew the guy a bit because she said he was sweet. But I don’t think that she was obliged to accept a date from him.
For all we know, being “geeky-looking” wasn’t the reason she turned him down. He might have been sweet but maybe she didn’t feel that she had that initial connection with him.
But what if the guy was just not her type when he asked her out? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s called preference and it’s human. I can’t speak for the guys but I have found that girls (myself included) are often expected to accept a date from any guy that asks and if she doesn’t then she’s a shallow bitch. I know I’m making a generalisation here but why is it that guys can chase after the same type of girl all their lives and not get crap for it but if a girl does it then she’s going after the wrong guy and needs to re-evaluate her life etc etc. There are far too many double-standards for my liking in the dating world.
In theory, physical attraction wouldn’t be the first thing people went by when it comes to dating but it happens and anyone who says that it doesn’t play a part in who they want to date is lying.
While we don’t know how the OP said no to the guy, I don’t think enough attention has been given to his reaction and attitude. He sounds very bitter which is immature in my opinion. So you got turned down… big deal, just move on!! I’ve been turned down by my fair share of guys but I don’t make a big song and dance about it. And if I were to have an awesome makeover and one of these guys asked me out after that, I’d politely point out they had their chance when I asked them out the first time round. If I saw them after, I wouldn’t ignore them or be cold and distant (I’m assuming this was how the guy acted towards the girl). I’d be the same as how I was before my makeover. It kind of defeats the point if his personality is going to change along with his makeover. Or has he shown his true colours now that he got “hot”? In which case, the girl had a lucky escape!
TL;DR:
Can’t blame the girl for having a preference.. maybe he wasn’t her type when he asked her out but there’s nothing wrong with that- she’s only human. The guy sounds like he needs to grow up.. he got rejected – big deal! If his personality’s going to change along with his makeover then he has no right to get pissed that the girl judged him by his appearance. If he wants to make a point, he needs to be the same sweet guy to her as when he asked her out.
The problem is she only cares and becomes interested once he becomes ‘hot’ – now she cares…..
So your whole post kinda stinks – and maybe he is being sweet by not imposing on her after she’s made her feelings clear
That’s your opinion but you’ve not read my post properly. So what if she’s only interested when he became hot? He can still point out that he knows she’s only interested because of the new look but he can also be civil if they see each other after. In the original post, that’s not how he came across.
I don’t understand how paying someone no attention is being sweet. As I said, he defeated his own point when he stopped being the sweet guy he was when he asked her out. I’m not saying he needs to be head-over-heels for her but he can just be civil and that isn’t imposing on them- it’s just common decency.
She never said he was uncivilized, just that he no longer gives her the same amount attention. Why should he? She obviously doesn’t want a relationship with him, and personally, I think if I found out that someone I liked didn’t like me, and in a potentially embarrassing way, I wouldn’t be comfortable with just acting like nothing happened. He didn’t stop being a sweet guy, he just isn’t pursuing her affection anymore.
I get what you’re saying, but the way I read “paying no attention” is the same way a parent would say “pay no attention to those bullies” i.e. ignore them, which is why I’m calling the guy out in this situation.
I see where you’re coming from, but I saw “pay no attention” as him not giving her the attention that she wanted. And taking into consideration the context, it seems more likely that he was just not showing interest in her, as opposed to ignoring her.
again, I have to agree with Onyx on this one. It may be the wording, but the way it came off to me was he stopped paying attention to her cause as soon as he got hot, she got interested. She obviously didn’t like him before, so why should he pay her any mind (as far as courting her goes) now? She made her choice, and now has to deal with it.
Also, I’m going to pump everything together under this post.
“He might have been sweet but maybe she didn’t feel that she had that initial connection with him.” The way it’s worded,(not you, the post) she felt that “initial connection” after he got hot. If she didn’t feel anything, she never would have even after he got hot. Your point is rather moot.
“—for it but if a girl does it then she’s going after the wrong guy and needs to re-evaluate her life etc etc.” To a point this is true, but the reason people say that is cause the girls SAY they want a nice, sweet, cute guy, but end up throwing the nice, sweet guys to the wind when the cute(but most likely mean) guy comes by. Then, they complain to the sweet guys about how they can’t find any sweet guys who want them. THIS is why people get upset. Also, most times the only people who call a woman a “shallow bitch” for turning a guy down are his friends to make him feel better.(or in this case when she changes her mind after he changes his look to her liking. this is what makes her shallow.)
Really, I think you read too much into ‘his reaction’. It wasn’t really said HOW he reacted, just that it was different. If he really is a sweet nerdy guy, he wouldn’t react the way you’re making him sound. I think you got stuck on this point and defending our fellow sister and read more into the situation than what really happened.
Thank you, this is exactly what I wanted to say, I just didn’t know how to word it.
Well, you brought this on yourself. But he should thank you, since without your rejection he would not have gained thecourage to change his look and boost his confidence. Therefore you actually did him a favor by being a bitch, and learned a lesson yourself. It was a good thing really, you’ve become a better person. As for the geeky look, it was never meant to be permanent, I know from experience
I’m a self-confessed nerd and it’s the first thing that attracted my now-girlfriend to me. And for the record, me taking my glasses off is a huge turn-on for her.
Stick with it, nerdy guys, there will be someone for you!
Same here. The glasses thing, not so much, she doesn’t really notice them anymore, but she felt really attracted to the fact that I’m so “mature”-looking, whatever that means
I asked mine about it, and it was the nerdy thing for her. She was really embarassed about admitting it, too… I can go on and on about something she neither knows nor cares about and she’ll listen with a smile the whole time.
The fact that I’m a guitarist helped rather a lot too.
This is hilarious! My fiance WAS the sweet geeky guy that I said “yes” to. He asked out my friend months before and she turned him down. Shorty after we started dating he cut his hair and got contacts and looked totally different. (I thought he was handsome before) but then OTHER people noticed too. I feel like this LFMF was written about us.
…except that you didn’t fail.
Good for you.
Um…so we think this is justice because the now- hot guy won’t date her, and laugh at her because she’s shallow and thus missed out on a secretly hot guy.
Guys? So we’re focusing on the fact that he turned out to be hot as the reason she missed a great deal?
Guess what, that’s shallow too. If it turned out that he is secretly an amazing lover, or an incredible man, that’s when you break out the “serves you right for being shallow” diatribe.
Blasting someone for being shallow, based on the idea that otherwise they could have dated a hot guy, kinda makes it seem like looks are all that matter.
You raise a very good point there, phoenix. I can’t speak for anyone else, but my comment that it kind of served her right was in response to the fact that she is now feeling gutted that she missed out – not because he is an amazing, kind and intelligent man, but because he is apparently “hot.” Therefore, the fact that she feels that way kind of serves her right for being so shallow and only focusing on his looks. If she’d said she turned him down then later got to know him and found out he was a lovely, funny and sensitive person, I might have been a little more sympathetic. After all, we choose mates because we find them attractive and however much we pretend otherwise, the way a person looks is part of that package.
Am I the only girl in the world who actually likes the geeky ones better than the “hot” ones….?
No, you’re really not.
And if you had time to read this entire thread, instead of having an actual life
you’d see how many of us agree with that.
No, you’re not!
Suspicion: the wishful thinking of the self-declared “sweet geeky guy”.