Learn From My Fail 

 

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Severe regret

No matter how desperate you are to kill some time, do not attempt to play five finger fillet with you pen. no matter how good you are, when the teacher slams the pen into your hand trying to snatch it out of your hand you will bleed everywhere the teacher will pass out and the school nurse does not have any pain killers strong enough to help. You will scream till the ambulance gets there. the variety of nicknames you receive will get old quickly. #LFMF

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» See all 54 comments

  1. waggle237 says:

    You and your teacher are into some kinky stuff, i dont believe thats school appropriate…

  2. demonstar says:

    (Resident Sith on Demonstar’s account):
    Are school nurses even allowed to carry painkillers?
    Hasn’t this teacher ever seen blood before?

    • Monkey Smashes Heaven says:

      It was probably gushing. That coupled with the guilt that she hurt him caused her to faint.

    • Ohhonestly says:

      No, school nurses cannot carry painkillers. Well, they can hold a bottle of tylenol for a particular kid with a note from the parents, but they cannot give them out to any other students.

      If this is a high school with athletic teams, then the (adult) trainer on the coaching staff may have pain killers, but again, they can only give them to athletes who have written permission on record.

      I wonder how many times the teacher had to ask the OP to stop before s/he went to take the pen away.

      • N/A says:

        At my school the nurse could give out Tylenol once they called a parent. At my sons school they have a permission slip listing his weight so the nurse can administer Tylenol as necessary. Lots of schools allow the nurses to give out Tylenol or similar.

    • spanky787 says:

      yeah my school nurse heals everything with a coughdrop and a note back to class

    • Harlequin says:

      Some people actually faint at the sight of blood. One of my cousins is that way, and will get woozy at the sight of a bleeding paper cut.

  3. Forever first says:

    Ouch. I hope you’re alright.

  4. Dr. Painless says:

    Suck it up, it’s only a flesh wound. Strop screaming in pain and finish out your school day. Painkillers are for pussies. I prescribe my patients with two doses of shut up and suck it up.

    • ... says:

      Said by either a macho dumbFluttershy, or someone who has never had anything impale a hand. I can’t imagine what that would feel like, but, remembering how ungodly the pain was when I put a binder ring through it as a kid, I’m thinking it feels like a lot worse than a ‘flesh wound’/

      • James says:

        It depends on a persons particular pain threshhold. I drove a nail through my foot and barbed wire through my hand and in neither one of those cases was there much pain, certainly not enough to justify a pain killer of any kind. I have also accidentally driven a penicl into my hand it didn’t particularly hurt that much. As well as having sliced my thumb open with a swiss army knife, I didn’t use pain killers for any of those either. Matbe I was a bit of a clutz as a kid.

        • frankiidoodle says:

          How do you manage to injure yourself that much? XD Although saying that, my dad knows someone who ended up with a sharpened stick through his hand because he refused to move while playing javelin chicken XD

      • Patrick says:

        Or by a troll?

    • Chris says:

      A flesh wound? As opposed to what – a bone wound? Stop being a dolt.

  5. TychaBrahe says:

    As a reminder, Bishop was an artificial person. You are not.

  6. Megalodon says:

    Instead of killing time, perhaps you should actually pay attention in class. Might help with that whole typing-like-a-ten-year-old thing.

    • insightful says:

      Sometimes the lecture ends and there is class time to work on assignments. Also, I have had teachers are just fanatics who can’t stand to hear any sound at all. -cough-.. “Get out!” –shuffle feet– “Leave!!”

      Regardless, the teacher should never have attempted to grab the pen.

      • ClariPossum says:

        This. Instead of just trying to snatch it, she should have asked the student to stop. But if if was annoying her, it was likely annoying someone else as well.

  7. twjolson says:

    One the plus side, lawsuit!

  8. This Guy vvv says:

    Edward Pencilhands LAWL

  9. Chmrm says:

    Risky game is risky.

    BTW: Pics or it didn’t happen.

  10. JR says:

    was the nurse hot? was the teacher? was you? oh God what i’m doing here?

  11. algor says:

    That was teacher’s fault.

  12. Guest says:

    Sounds like an intentional tort to me.

  13. Huey says:

    Some of us don’t want to hear gory stories of blood and guts when we’re looking for humour.

  14. dohpaz says:

    Anyone care to explain what this ‘game’ is…?

    • Demarko says:

      I just lost the game :(

    • Spudd86 says:

      You stab the table between your outstretched fingers, holding them and your palm flush to the table, moving back and fourth from one side of your hand to the other stabbing between each pair of digits in turn. You do this as fast as you possibly can, trying to avoid actually stabbing your finger or hand. It is usually done with a knife.

  15. AIDS says:

    You sound like an idiot, who deserved what you got. I feel bad for the teacher though.

  16. Bev says:

    Why is everyone talking about suing the teacher? If OP was doing what he was supposed to be doing in class. nothing would have happened.

  17. Rodiansinger says:

    I hope that teacher got fired for: A, stabbing you with a pen. And B, not helping you at all.

  18. CynicalSquid says:

    I feel bad for your teacher. There are other things you could do in class.
    A. PAY ATTENTION!!! I may sound like a goody-two-shoes or nerd for saying this, but really, why else would the teacher be there?
    B. See example “A”.

    And the teacher COULD have had a COMMON fear of blood or had been terrified of the fact that he/she could be fired.

  19. ziphii says:

    Can someone explain what “five finger fillet” is? Never heard of that

    • Rodiansinger says:

      Watch “Aliens”. Lance Henrikson has a very funny scene in which he forces a very highspeed game of five finger fillet on another guy and makes him scream like a girl.

  20. DB says:

    Five finger fillet is a knife game in which you lay your hand on a flat surface, spread the fingers, and attempt to stab in between them. Obviously not *quite* as dangerous with a pen, but if a dumb strumpet of a teacher attempts to grab the pen rather than just asking for it…. yea… you could end up with the business end of a pen embedded between bones in all kinds of tendons and muscles. Ouch. Retarded behavior by both the OP and the teacher.

  21. Criostoir says:

    OP: being dumb, in an age-appropriate way.

    Teacher: being really stupid, and irresponsible in a way any adult should know better than to be.

    Teacher should pay all associated medical bills.

  22. Aura says:

    Sounds more like a teacher fail. You should sue them and they should get fired. Yeah you did something kinda stupid, which everyone does, but they caused you pretty bad physical harm.

  23. sciencequeen says:

    More like the teacher’s fail. Getting bored and looking for something to do is not by any means a dumb thing. Getting your student stabbed by a pen because you decided simply telling them to stop wasn’t good enough, however, is.

  24. Melissa says:

    At my old school the front desk would give out Tylenol and Advil to basically every kid who asked for it, without permission.

  25. [...] Severe regret (learnfrommyfail.failblog.org) [...]


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